10 days old today...our sweet Maggie Grace. There seems to be something about her. I keep saying that. I'm not sure what it is...maybe her eyes or her skin being a little darker than the other 2 or her temperment...not sure...it could just be that the other 2 are driving me up a wall that I am just glad to have her here to keep me sane.
Tweedle Dee & Dum drove me NUTS today!!! I even looked at my son late this afternoon and asked him to please pick up his trains while tears were running down my face. Molly saw this and told me I was being silly. Max laughed and asked why I was crying. I told him it was because he wouldn't just pick up his trains like his mother asked (great parenting I know....laying the guilt trip...does it count as bad parenting if they don't buy into it???) I think you're supposed to crash about 3 days after giving birth...I definitely crashed today. The day ended well though. I think it was the mother guilt setting in that got me most of all. There is nothing like the guilt you feel as a mother.
I complained a lot about the kids tonight to Aaron. Then I try to remind myself of all that we have and that I have NOTHING to complain about. I just caught up on a few blogs that I like to read. One blog that I read is about a couple who was supposed to have a baby right around this time...the same time that Maggie was born. They ended up having their litte boy around 22 weeks. He died. I can't imagine losing one of our children. It's devestating to even think about that, but to live it must be unbearable. I get to watch my children interact, color, write their name, get their shoes on all by themselves, be silly, stretch. I get to hold them when they get hurt, tell them about Jesus, play on the playground with them. I yelled at them today b/c they were throwing toothpicks on the ground while "grocery shopping" in the kitchen and when they brought out their ball bin and threw every single ball down the steps. What would I do if I didn't have those balls sitting at the end of the steps almost every day? And watching them "grocery shop" and then go "home"...well it was probably my favorite moment of the day (minus trying to get them to clean up the toothpicks).
Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to try and remember and remind myself of how lucky and blessed we are and how much I would miss all of those messes were my kids not here with me.
1 comment:
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. This blog is great for releasing stress. Having a baby makes everything a little wacky. I hope today is a better day. Eat some chocolate, it usually helps my mood. :)love, Jen
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