30 years?

I was laying in bed last night around 1:15 a.m. and couldn't help but think of all of the things that I want to do, haven't really thought of doing, but feel like I've wanted to them for years.
I can't help thinking about how much I love the product of scrapbooking, but how I never do it. I love going to 12 hour crops, but can't decide if it's the scrapping or the adult conversation I enjoy more. I REALLY want to learn how to sew and knit. Then I think will this just be one more thing that I really think I want to do only to let it fall to the basket of scrapbooking, cardmaking, etc. etc. 30 years!!! Really? Has that much time really gone by? I feel like I should have done more sewing in those 30 years...more than sewing on the occasional button.
So I have checked into taking a sewing class. I will have to travel over an hour to get there, but I would really love to make my little girls clothes and perhaps a skirt or 2 for myself.

On another note...the sun is shining today!!! It seems as if spring may make a bit of an early appearance here. The world seems so bleak....weather, politics, jobs, etc. But then you open your shades and your door and it's as if God is saying "I have control over everything...don't you worry".

So when I think of all of the things I have yet to accomplish in life....big or small...I usually turn on my computer and look at our babies that I have frozen in time with the photos. Thank goodness for my camera.

stories...

The other day on a family trip to WalMart, my husband took a shortcut thru the back roads. Max said, "Daddy, I think this is the way to Michigan."
His sister quickly broke in.
"No it's not. This is not the Michigan way."

And the two of them spent the next few minutes going back and forth and arguing about which way we were actually going.

Molly finally gets help from her daddy.

"Daddy, this isn't the Michigan way is it?"
"No, baby doll. It's not. We're going to WalMart."

Max doesn't say a word.

Molly waits about a half a minute and then...."Told ya."
Hands on as much of her hips as she can being in the car seat.

Max again didn't say a word. I think he realized that it was a lost cause with his sister.
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This past Sunday was a great day. It was gorgeous outside...no coats for church....even more beautiful when we left church. I told myself that we had to get outside and enjoy knowing full well that it was going to get snowy and cold again come Monday.
Nope, we decided to sleep the day away. Everyone but Max decided to take turns napping. We never stepped outside again that day. By the time we all awoke it was time to start making football snacks for the Super Bowl. The kids and Aaron cleaned the living room and got the coffee table situated for all of our snacks. The first round of commercials came on the tv. One of the first ones was a Doritos ad. It was the magic ball ad where the guy throws it at the vending machine and then the other guy throws it and hits who is presumed to be his boss, right in the private area. Aaron and I watched it from the kitchen and then returned to finish preparing the snacks. We heard Maggie's little soft baseball with the bell inside of it being tossed around. After a minute or so Aaron asked Molly and Max what they were doing. Max says...

"Daddy, we are trying to do like the guy in the commercial. Will you throw it at my ankle?"

I found this mildly humorous...Aaron more so. About a minute later I realized why Aaron got such a kick out of Max asking him to throw it at his ankle...

Max calls his penis his ankle. Don't ask me why.
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3 day weekend...

First things first...a few reminders to self...

We went to Lexington to do a little shopping on Saturday. We headed into Children's Place b/c I wanted to find the kids winter coats for next year. Of course they didn't have any boys coats left..it being January and 10 degrees outside I could see why they would have none left, but bathing suits out for all to purchase. I digress, Molly spotted a few dresses she liked. So we lined the 3 of them up. She stood back and looked and picked up the one on the end and said, "This one Momma. This one looks familiar." What??? Where did that come from. I didn't know my 2 year old even knew that word. She just looked so cute and serious when she said it.

Today Max and Molly were coloring at their little table while Maggie played on the floor and I was busy packing their stuff for our trip. When I am busy doing something the kids sometimes help me out by playing with Maggie if she gets fussy. This afternoon she started getting fussy and Max looked to Molly to play with her. Molly didn't budge.
"Molly, will you go play with Maggie?"
She ignored her brother.
"Molly, you better go play with her or I'm gonna lose my temperature and then I won't love you anymore."
Of course we had a nice long talk about how no matter what happens we will always love each other. I just mostly got a kick out of him saying he would lose his "temperature".

I have started a Beth Moore bible study on Esther. I LOVE Beth Moore. Last night was our second session. We talked a lot about destiny and beauty and God's plans for all of us.
A few notes from the session:
~You cannot amputate your history from your destiny. You cannot become the person God wants you to be by getting rid of your history. Your destiny is tied to it.
~Your past is what you learn from...it's something by which we are humbled...the past may be horrible, but somewhere there are treasures.
~God is attracted to weakness....b/c there is more room for the strength of God.
~We also spoke about beauty and the pressures of today to be beautiful. She spoke about 4 types of women concerning beauty...the 1st one escapes me...sorry...the 2nd is the the kind of woman who thinks everyone thinks she is beautiful and wants it that way...that is a dangerous woman. The 3rd is one who believes no one thinks she is beautiful..that is a terrified woman. Then there is the 4th woman....who hopes certain people think she is beautiful. To hope that her mom and daughters find she is beautiful...certainly hopes her husband would find her beautiful. But what she truly wants is "the beauty of the Lord on her face".

I thought that was great. I have met a few close friends since moving here that have the love for their Jesus written all over their face. It has to be thee most beautiful thing about a person.

Wednesday...Maybe today is the day

As I laid in bed this morning, still half asleep, I knew that there was someone else there with me besides my husband. The only question was which one was it? My little Molly. I turned and faced the wall because it was just pure luck that I hadn't been elbowed in the face by my sweet daughter. A few minutes later I hear Max climb the stairs. Since Max has been found at 3 a.m. watching television we have been unplugging it before we head to bed at night. He comes into our room and Aaron asks him what he's been doing.

"Not watching tv Daddy. I've just been laying on the couch sleeping a little bit and reading my new bible."

Oh I love my boy!
He came home the other day telling me the story of Esther. How is in that my son's short 4 years of life he seems to know so much more than my 30 years of knowledge???

I spent part of my afternoon yesterday trying to get a shot of Maggie's first 2 teeth. She must have been wondering what in world she was born into.

Early Saturday morning...

I am woken by the sound of my 3 little ones laughing and having a grand time in their room across the small hallway. I check Aaron's phone hoping for the first number to at least be a 7...nope...5:51 a.m. Yikes! It's Saturday morning kids...don't they know just how wonderful sleep is??? I suppose if I went to sleep by 7 p.m. I would be and could be up at that hour. I crawl out of bed, walk into their room and find the 3 of them all in Maggie's crib. Of course, I'm a tad upset that they woke me and the dad up, but then Maggie starts laughing at her brother and sister. All annoyance left. After the rough late afternoon and evening we had with them not cleaning up, their whining, loss of movie and pizza night...it was nice to see that they had recovered while I still am not quite over the guilt of it all. Aaron took Maggie while I talked to my 2 oldest about what the new plan was as far as their responsibility around this house, what was expected of them and what Mommy & Daddy were going to do to help them be responsible and kind and respectful.
Side note here...Thanks Stace for the late night conversation we had. Thank you for the support and for watching out for my kids even though we are 450 miles away! :)
I get so frustrated b/c being home with my kids is my job. And some days....I feel like I am downright failing at it. Aaron gets evaluations every so often and I know he passes with flying colors....where is my boss to evaluate me? I know Aaron believes that I am a good mom and it's not that I think I am a bad mom...it's just that I wonder what in the heck will make my kids listen and do what they are supposed to do. I know that I make empty threats at times and I don't follow through on certain reward systems b/c I don't allow enough time for them to work. I want a system to work by the second day.
I need to ask my Father about it more. I know that the first thing I should do is get on my knees and ask my God to show me what to do with His kids :) And I need to remember that....these beautiful kids have been given to me...what an honor it is to be their mom.
A couple of weeks ago...before Christmas...the 3 kids and I went grocery shopping. They did alright in the store...could have done better, but I suppose I'll take an alright trip. We got out to the car and Max and Molly got into their seats. They got a few toys and sat their and played. Maggie was still in the carrier at that point and I snapped her in and continued on to putting the groceries in the back of the van. I hear this woman speak up.
"Those are the most well behaved children I have ever seen."
She can't be talking to me, I think. I kind of look around.
"You told them to get up in their seats and they are just sitting there waiting for you to buckle them in. I've never seen kids listen so well."
I tell her thank you, but that I feel like I am yelling at them most of the time. She said no and that she was impressed.
I walked away to put the cart away, walked back and as I was getting in my car I told her thank you. She responded.
"I'm still sitting here amazed."
"Thank you...that compliment is the best Christmas present I've gotten so far."
I'll take it. The compliments on their behavior. If nothing else I just want God-loving and respectful kids.

He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him." Isaiah 33:6 NET

Patience...

But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3

I am getting excited and trying not to...not until we get official word. Then I think of all that I will miss here if and when we get that call...all of my dear friends I've made...mentors....our Sunday school class....Max's Sunday School class, Molly's "church school" as she likes to call it, Maggie...it's the only home she's ever known. I start to think of all of that and I need to turn my mind back to my sisters, nephews, mom & dad, brother, Aaron's family, our home, our friends, our church, Molly wanting to take a dance class....I get very excited about it. The thought of being close to my family again is wonderful. All that we took for granted while we lived in Michigan. There are definitely things that I am not excited about...all of the political and economical garbage that seems to be happening there these days. But I suppose that's happening everywhere. And living in the Bible Belt of KY this past year has taught me that God is sitting on that throne no matter what.
He is the King of Kings.
He is Almighty.
He is Just.
He is my Protector and my family's Protector.
I have nothing to fear.
Aaron has gotten a few emails so we should know either way in the next 30 days. Oh I am excited. Then I look around and see all that I have to pack up again. No organization this time...clothes are staying in dresser drawers! Just move it!
If we do move that is....not getting my hopes up yet.

Today, Max was sitting up on his bunk bed and he started telling this story all of a sudden about his cousins and him spending the night at Nick's house. He said that they fell asleep, but then woke up and peeked out the bedroom door. What they saw was Santa filling their stockings and placing presents under the tree. He said that there were 2 Santas. They were partners.
After his story he looked at Molly and asked, "Was that a good story Molly?"
"That was so good Max!"

Today the kids got into trouble and ended up in time out on the stairs. They were screaming in Maggie's face and ended up in trouble. After their time out Molly came to me all by herself.
She came right to me and said, "I'm sorry Momma for screaming."
Oh I kissed her and told her she was forgiven. Did she really do that all on her own???? After wondering some days why in the world I stay home....she did something that I taught her. Yipppee!!!

Thank you Lord

2009!!! Can it be??? I started this on the 3rd and am finishing it on the 8th!!!

So long since I've last written....I would love to have time stop for just a few hours each day just so that I can get a few things done. Blogging and documenting memories of my young family being one of those things. I feel like there have been so many things my kids have said and/or done since I last wrote...and I've already forgotten them. Speaking of not having enough time in the day to do things I wanted to post the following. I got this from a friend who has 4 adorable children. I received this a day before another one of my friends reminded me that I do not "work". Um??? I went back and read this article...and this friend does have kids...is that she just doesn't realize just what it's like because she does work outside the house??? Not sure, but it's worth the read.

This was written by Carolyn Hax from The Washington Post. I believe I saw it was first published in May 2007 and it is now being sent from one email account to another.

Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group ...

OK. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions.

— Tacoma, Wash.


Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

LOVE IT!!!!

I love this. Since it's been 5 days since I started this post I am just going to cut my losses and call it a day on this post.